tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post2587222597157564526..comments2023-09-06T01:08:43.420-07:00Comments on Wesleyan Arminian: Calvinist DictionaryKevin Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13472900037134045450noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-20521836338827666182011-12-02T07:53:45.557-08:002011-12-02T07:53:45.557-08:00Absolutely awesome! Hilarious and scary at the sa...Absolutely awesome! Hilarious and scary at the same time.Russhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15742164282705691257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-71080862548406474052008-05-23T05:43:00.000-07:002008-05-23T05:43:00.000-07:00Pizzaman,I have been wanting to do this for a whil...Pizzaman,<br><br>I have been wanting to do this for a while but you beat me to the punch (and I am glad you did because it is far more creative than I could have come up with). Very funny and very alarming at the same time. I will be directing any of my readers your way.<br><br>God Bless,<br>BenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-60450560343971229072008-05-23T08:36:00.000-07:002008-05-23T08:36:00.000-07:00I hope you are kidding here....because 98% of what...I hope you are kidding here....because 98% of what you said isn't true of what Calvinists believe!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-43475006321183249042008-05-23T08:40:00.000-07:002008-05-23T08:40:00.000-07:00THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!!Trinity: Augustine, Calvin a...THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!!<br><br>Trinity: Augustine, Calvin and Spurgeon<br><br>Neo Trinity: MacArthur (or Sproul or Piper), White and SpurgeonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-49615884258303327582008-05-23T08:51:00.000-07:002008-05-23T08:51:00.000-07:00Ha! This is great. I have wanted a handy resource ...Ha! This is great. I have wanted a handy resource like this for some time. Thanks.<br><br>A.M. MallettAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-19892626605101437272008-05-23T11:38:00.000-07:002008-05-23T11:38:00.000-07:00Hello Pizza man,I love your "dictionary". It is f...Hello Pizza man,<br><br>I love your "dictionary". It is funny but much of it reflects things that I have actually seen and heard calvinists say and teach. <br><br>Can we add some entries to the dictionary? <br><br>Here are some more for your consideration: <br><br>"Open theism - according to James White logically consistent Arminians will be one of these"<br><br>"Reprobation = in the divine lottery getting very unlucky"<br>"election = in the divine lottery getting very lucky"<br>"Hardening = getting very unlucky, see reprobation;<br>“Mercying = getting very lucky, see election"<br><br>"Potter = the one who manipulates the clay so that it is whatever he wants it to be and does whatever he wants it to do and goes to Hell or Heaven where he wants it to go;<br>Clay = the persons totally manipulated and controlled by the Potter, not to be confused with puppets or robots”<br><br>“Puppets or Robots = Arminian caricatures of calvinism, not to be confused with God controlling us and manipulating us like clay”<br><br>“Freedom of God = that God can do whatever he wants with his puppets, er, clay, er, God has free will and you don’t!”<br><br>“Free will = a vicious and unsubstantiated rumor started by Arminians”<br><br>“Human will = the part of man that God uses to control him like a puppet, er robot, er clay”<br><br>"Libertarian free will = an event that occurs that is uncaused and for no reasons"<br><br>“Compatibilism = the idea that God controls us like puppets and robots, but we still have free will because we are doing exactly what we want to do which happens to be exactly what the Potter predetermined for us to do” <br><br>“Middle knowledge = just sophisticated Arminian lying”<br><br>“Exegetical argument = what to say when a bible passage can be used as a proof text for Calvinism;<br>Proof texting = what to say when an Arminian cites a bible passage that does not support Calvinism”<br>universal atonement = any citation of John 3:16 or 1 Jn. 2:2 by an Arminian, see also proof texting”<br><br>“Good = whatever God predetermined to occur,<br>Evil = whatever God predetermined to occur,”<br><br>“Good people = calvinists<br>Bad people = everybody else”<br><br>"Who are you O man who answers back to God" = what to say to an Arminian when you are losing the debate”<br><br>RobertAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-43944412301561016062008-05-23T13:53:00.000-07:002008-05-23T13:53:00.000-07:00Excellent!! Very funny stuff..Excellent!! Very funny stuff..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-11137477206744841082008-05-23T20:29:00.000-07:002008-05-23T20:29:00.000-07:00Hey! I'm a Calvinist, but I really found this sooo...Hey! I'm a Calvinist, but I really found this sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!<br><br>I think I'll return the compliment in the future and blog on a "Dictionary to Help Calvinists Understand Arminians"<br><br>=)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-73148885412133988522008-05-24T06:16:00.000-07:002008-05-24T06:16:00.000-07:00Truly a great post. By far one of the funniest po...Truly a great post. By far one of the funniest posts I have ever read and dealing with theology at that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-23434570322439470562008-05-24T11:14:00.000-07:002008-05-24T11:14:00.000-07:00Robert, very good additions. I love the lottery id...Robert, very good additions. I love the lottery idea. <br><br>Seeker, glad you enjoyed it. I have a few ideas for an "Arminian dictionary", but it would no doubt be better done by someone from a Calivinst viewpoint. :)<br><br>-KevinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-53563907602744225182008-05-24T13:49:00.000-07:002008-05-24T13:49:00.000-07:00Great post!!! Eventhough this is suppose to be a j...Great post!!! Eventhough this is suppose to be a joke, I'd say 90% of it is true.<br><br><br>Great post!!!<br><br><br><br><br>JNORM888Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-58375835079462747722008-05-25T15:21:00.000-07:002008-05-25T15:21:00.000-07:00Hello Pizzaman,"Robert, very good additions. I lov...Hello Pizzaman,<br><br>"Robert, very good additions. I love the lottery idea."<br><br>The divine lottery analogy comes from a friend of mine. He is one of the smartest guys that I know has **multiple** Ph.D's and has been a bible teacher for longer than I have been alive.<br><br>He likes to liken calvinism to a divine lottery in which the game is completely rigged and you are either a BIG WINNER, or a BIG LOSER. Whatever you are is completely a matter of luck from your perspective because when your turn comes and the wheel is spun, your destiny is already determined and it is absolutely impossible for you to be anything other than a BIG WINNER or a BIG LOSER. And the person determining whether you are a loser or winner made the decision completely without reference to who you are, what kind of person you are, or anything you have done. And when things happen to us that have nothing to do with who we are or what we have done, we call that luck. Good or Bad luck!<br><br>RobertAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-58495908285544672822008-05-26T12:26:00.000-07:002008-05-26T12:26:00.000-07:00OH WOW! SO FUNNY. THE DORIS DAY ONE GOT ME!BILLYOH WOW! SO FUNNY. THE DORIS DAY ONE GOT ME!<br><br>BILLYAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-59569348748278479112008-05-27T21:11:00.000-07:002008-05-27T21:11:00.000-07:00Here's some definitions of my own. I am Eastern Or...Here's some definitions of my own. I am Eastern Orthodox, and you will find that we are VERY friendly to Armenians, especially to John Wesley who "borrowed" a few hyms from us.<br><br><b>Article XXXI of the Westminster Confession</b> - an elastic clause that allows the overruling of any adverse Church Council. In consequence, should Romans 9 prove too weak, the Council of Carthage of 397 AD can always be overruled so that other books friendly to Calvinism such as the Gospels of Judas, Thomas, and Phillip can be reinstated into the New Testament.<br><br><b>Revelation 22:19 </b> - A heretical verse of the Bible that contradicts Predestination and has been edited out in the True Bible, the 1599 Geneva Study Bible. Although this is a curse for making deletions from the Book of Revelation, Calvinists are immune because they are Predestined.<br><br><b>St. Irenaeus</b> - A heretic whose relics were destroyed by Calvinists because he caused supporting scripture (the Gnostic Gospels of Judas, Thomas, and Phillip) to be expelled from the New Testament.<br><br><b>Ignoramus</b> - a title of respect bestowed upon a non-Calvinist for being conversant in Reformed Jargon, finding contradictions in the Westminster Comnfession, or making a too convincing argument against Calvinism.<br><br><b>Shifty Tactics</b> - the use of well reasoned argument to best a Calvinist in Theological Discourse. Shifty Tactics include catching a Calvinist in a Lie or Contradiction, outsmating a Calvinist, quoting adverse Scripture or a Bible version that has not been EDITED by a Calvinist.<br><br><b>Prime Directive</b> - If Calvin says that the Bible says it's True, then it must be True.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-33602083236880323602008-05-27T21:20:00.000-07:002008-05-27T21:20:00.000-07:00PS: We Orthodox pride ourselves on being Zero Poin...PS: We Orthodox pride ourselves on being Zero Point Calvinists. In fact, we even strive to get our number of points down to a number even lower than Zero. If it were possible, we'd be "Minus One" Point Calvinists.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-39443532686147005782008-05-27T22:51:00.000-07:002008-05-27T22:51:00.000-07:00Thanks for stopping by HNC, good stuff :)Your comm...Thanks for stopping by HNC, good stuff :)<br><br>Your comments about Irenaeus spurred me to read up on him a bit. I wasn't aware that the early Calvinists hated him. Very interesting (and sad).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-55419490504718711212008-05-28T21:36:00.000-07:002008-05-28T21:36:00.000-07:00A Dictionary of Arminian Terms<a href="http://triablogue.blogspot.com/2008/05/dictionary-of-arminian-terms.html" rel="nofollow">A Dictionary of Arminian Terms</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-20435426752732585952008-05-28T23:22:00.000-07:002008-05-28T23:22:00.000-07:00Love the Doris Day reference.Love the Doris Day reference.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-51617958073163522222008-05-29T07:07:00.000-07:002008-05-29T07:07:00.000-07:00More for good humor:EVANGELISM - No listing found....More for good humor:<br><br>EVANGELISM - No listing found.<br><br>HERMENEUTICS - The art of taking John Calvin's Institutes and applying them to the Bible.<br><br>PRAYER - A waste of time and energy (see sovereignty).<br><br>SPURGEON - The greatest preacher since Paul the Apostle and true on whatever he said especially about Arminianism. <br><br>THEOLOGY - John Calvin's Institutes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-55480399278943995062008-05-29T09:49:00.000-07:002008-05-29T09:49:00.000-07:00Pizzaman:I know that Paul meant well when he provi...Pizzaman:<br><br>I know that Paul meant well when he provided that link to the "Arminian Dictionary". However, it links to the triablogue site, a group that you will find are close-minded, and love to make personal attacks. Henceforth, I shall refer to them as Trollblogue.<br><br>My comment about "Shifty Tactics" was my way of getting back at them for their unflattering characterization of ORTHODOX, as well as the term "ignoramus" when Trollblogue applied it to me. <br><br>My point is that they are not the best role models for Christain Hospitality. You Arminians have broken your necks to be Hospitable to the two of us on theis board who are Eastern Orthodox, and we recognize that.<br><br>To be honest, what I feel we owe Trollblogue is a BOYCOTT. Let them kill their own blog with their Folly. There is no need to support that Trollblogue by visiting them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-76763280035371478712008-05-29T10:41:00.000-07:002008-05-29T10:41:00.000-07:00Excellent additions Roy, of course I know that you...Excellent additions Roy, of course I know that you really like Spurgeon deep deep down. :)<br><br>HNC, point taken. And I'm glad that you feel welcome here. I'm not a fan of Triablogue either for the reasons you listed, although there are some other Calvinist blogs that I enjoy. In this case, however, I really can't complain because if I dish it out I have to take it too. and as they say - Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-79469644526985672662008-05-29T12:19:00.000-07:002008-05-29T12:19:00.000-07:00Pizza man,A couple of these had me ROARING! You ar...Pizza man,<br><br>A couple of these had me ROARING! You are clearly well-versed in this debate to come up with some of those. I frequently blog about Calvinism over at preachfaith.blogspot.com Come on by!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-15098305244442076712008-05-29T18:21:00.000-07:002008-05-29T18:21:00.000-07:00Pizzaman,Hilarious! :DchadwickPizzaman,<br><br>Hilarious! :D<br><br>chadwickAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-56188405638114136292008-05-29T23:39:00.000-07:002008-05-29T23:39:00.000-07:00Protestant Dictionary<a href="http://orthodox-thoughts.blogspot.com/2008/05/protestant-dictionary.html" rel="nofollow">Protestant Dictionary</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159101388355001570.post-13079723457792566162008-05-30T00:33:00.000-07:002008-05-30T00:33:00.000-07:00Orthodox:Take care that you don't incite these guy...Orthodox:<br><br>Take care that you don't incite these guys to do an Eastern Orthodox dictionary (wink, wink).<br><br><b>Roman Catholic Church</b> - The Protestant Demination whose architecture and icons most closely resemble our own.<br><br><b>Methodist Church</b> - The Protestant Church whose beliefs most closely resembles our own.<br><br><b>Matushka</b> - Preacher's Wife<br><br><b>Giant Ice Cream Sundae</b> - What Protestant tourists mistake St. Basil's in Mosco for.<br><br><b>The Beatitudes</b> - The introductory music of the 1812 Overture.<br><br><b>The Prokeimenon in the Sixth Tone</b> - The Hymn of Victory over the French in the 1812 Overture.<br><br><b>Orthodox Joke</b> - A sly reference to a Scriptural verse or Hymn that usually conveys a secret message meant for another Orthodox that is usually missed by Protestants. <br><br><b>Smart Protestant</b> - A Protestant who actually catches an Orthodox Joke. Billy Birch and Pizza Man fall into this category.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com