What are the three things God doesn't know? (Joke)

What are the three things God does not know? (Catholic version)
1) What the Jesuits are thinking.
2) What the Franciscans are doing.
3) How many orders of nuns there are.

What are the three things God does not know? (Protestant version)
1) What process theologians are thinking.
2) Who's in charge of the Baptists.
3) What the Pentecostals are saying.

HT: Thomas Oden